July 26 is National Uncle’s Day!
Below are some tips on how to be the World’s Greatest Uncle. Although it hasn’t yet been declared a federal holiday, I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.
Aunts are officially part of this holiday too, although most aunts don’t need assistance being cool. Uncles, on the other hand, need all the help they can get. So forward this to anyone who might know an uncle.
I think whoever’s in charge of these things has messed up because:
- July 24 is National Cousins Day and Tequila Day
- July 25 is National Chili Dog Day, Hot Fudge Sundae Day, and Wine and Cheese Day
- July 26 is National Aunt and Uncle’s Day. You already knew that from the red circle on your calendar.
- July 27 is National Scotch Day
Seems to me that that these all should share the day with National Uncle’s Day, don’t you agree?
Tips to be the World’s Greatest Uncle
- Buy the loudest, most annoying presents. Think drum sets, loud sound effects, and xylophones.
- Teach new knock-knock jokes to the kid(s). The parents will thank you.
- Give “Call Me With No Lecture If You’re Arrested” card when kid(s) turn 16. Bonus if you laminate it.
- Train kid(s) to be huge sports fans of teams that their parents hate.
- Bring them to the latest action-packed and stupid comedy movies. Ignore reviews and parental opinions. (You know you want to go and your friends likely won’t go with you.)
- Play wild, rambunctious games right before bedtime (examples: indoor tackle football, tag, or card games like Spoons, Slapjack, Spit, etc.). Kiss them goodnight and leave.
- Show up in a rental sports car to take the kid(s) out for dinner. Don’t tell them it’s a rental. Be sure to highlight the contrast to their parents’ minivan/sedan/SUV.
- Introduce the kid(s) to a cool hobby. Bonus points if the parents don’t approve
- Buy Uncle and Ants: A Silicon Valley Mystery. Well, you knew I’d have to mention this gift idea! If you like clever humor, sassy side characters, and average Joes facing danger, then you’ll love this twisty mystery—first in a series.
What’s the funniest/silliest/craziest thing an uncle of yours ever did? Send me an email or leave a comment below.