(as told to Marc Jedel, who insists on calling himself my author)
When Marc asked me to write a guest post, I told him I was busy. He replied that as a fictional character, I’m not actually busy in real life. Offended, I pointed out that, technically, he’s not busy in real life either and I run an inn, solve murders, and feed a poodle with a superiority complex. Marc claimed that didn’t count. I’d argue, but it’s hard to win against the man with a finger hovering above the delete key.
Anyway, since my last adventure (Whine and Dine), life in Monte Rio has “settled down.” That’s always what people say right before things go horribly wrong. With a murder rate in this town beginning to approach that of Cabot Cove or Midsomer County, it’s hard to know what normal is. Sure enough, I’m told the next book involves me in another humorous murder mystery—as if murders could ever be funny. No one tells me the details—apparently, spoilers are bad for my “character arc.”
For those who don’t know me, I’m Andy Shirley, sixty-five, retired copy editor, reluctant bed-and-breakfast owner, and sometimes wannabe recluse. My late wife, Catherine, dreamed of running this inn by the Russian River. I dreamed of fishing quietly and avoiding small talk with strangers. Fate, it turns out, has a dark sense of humor.
These days, I manage the Quilt House Inn with substantial help from my Romanian cook, Nadia—who prepares an amazing breakfast buffet. I also believe she could take down a murderer with a wooden spoon. Charlie, my inadvertent and highly unofficial sidekick is the town’s hybrid plumber-electrician. She manages to keep my inn from shorting out or flooding from broken pipes. She’s thirty, loud, and possesses the reckless confidence of someone who’s never had to Google “how to replace a hip.” She insists I’m “too negative,” which is rich coming from someone who has “don’t die stupidly” written on her toolbox. She’s good at fixing things and even better at roping me into situations I should know to avoid. She calls it teamwork. I call it entrapment.
Then there’s Fifi—excuse me, Mademoiselle Fifi—my late wife’s teacup poodle. She’s comes in a petite size but is still high maintenance. Fifi insists on visiting the salon each month for a shampoo and style with a fresh pink bow. In addition she receives a pedicure to finish her look. True to her French nature, she has strong opinions. One time I chastised her and she refused to look at me for two days. Fifi accompanies me most places tucked into the front pocket of my fishing vest, supervising my life like a furry parole officer.
The townsfolk here in Monte Rio are friendly enough, though “friendly” in this case often translates to “nosy.” I’ve discovered that small-town gossip travels faster than lightning. People say the town runs on coffee and rumor, which seems entirely accurate.
When I’m not attending to my inn or being drafted into Charlie’s schemes, I go fishing, head out on hikes, or tinker in my new archery shop. Some men in their sixties buy motorcycles. Given the wet, curvy roads and my reflexes, I feel more comfortable buying arrows and teaching archery to young people. Unlike most people, arrows fly straight and don’t gossip.
Marc keeps telling me this series is “cozy” and “humorous.” My inn is certainly cozy. And while I enjoy a good joke, I have yet to find the humor in his stories—not with all the dead bodies. From my point of view, I’m a retired man who just wanted peace and pie. Instead, I’m chasing suspects, tripping over bodies, and finding clues where I least expect them.
Still, I can’t complain too much. The inn’s running smoothly, the guests haven’t found any corpses lately, and Fifi’s fan club continues to grow. In a flash of brilliance, Charlie added her profile to the inn’s social media page and the number of likes have doubled.
So if you find yourself near Monte Rio, stop by the Quilt House Inn. I’ll be the one in the fishing vest with too many pockets, pretending I don’t like people while secretly hoping you brought cookies. You’ll get a warm bed, an amazing breakfast, and—if we’re lucky—a murder-free stay. Just don’t call me “adorable” or “grumpy but lovable.” That sort of reputation would make it hard to keep the possibility of becoming a recluse alive.
You can find all Marc’s cozy mysteries at: https://www.amazon.com/Marc-Jedel/e/B07H7MVKJL. They’re available in e-book, paperback, and audiobook formats. Marc’s novels are free to read by Kindle Unlimited members.
Marc loves hearing from readers as that motivates him to keep going on the next blank page. Let him know what you liked, what you didn’t, and what you’d want to see more of in the next book.